Ninja Bear Escapes Near Death

Battle Peep!

Linda made it with love.
I can't wait to see what she does with pumpkins this Halloween.

Bock, Bock, Bock CHICKEN!

PETA rules, well not really... but fuck KFC

Gook Luck Chuck!

Damn these bitches!

I'd fuck myself too if I was into muscular lil' beans

I hope this is real, cause god knows I've put on woman's undergarments more than once in my day. My mom's are the BEST. Here a couple links to fill you in--- ONE--- TWO
Click on picture if you wanna see up close ;)

WTMFucker gave me a heartattack.

And I haven't smoked crack in like I week...ummmm I think... yeah thats about right. BOO!

Arrrr mateys! Avast, Jolly Roger hangs tidy as I get my Booty! Arrrrrrr!

Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. It's a perfect excuse to drink some rum and loosen those lips.... and THOSE lips. Arrrr!

Find out what your Pirate Name is here:
ARRR! MY PIRATE NAME ARRR!

Read more about Talk Like a Pirate Day and get yer Pirate Booty.

VOTE FOR THE FATE of Barry Bonds' Record Breaking Ball

What would you do with this $752,467.00 baseball? The “secret buyer” was fashion designer Marc Ecko. He’s letting the public decide what to do with the ball that broke Hank Aaron’s home run record. I say, lets grab some gloves and head to the park.... then head to the ranch and warm up some irons!

VOTE NOW on http://www.vote756.com/marcecko/

View the Today Show clip here.

Congress' Skull Fucking Bill of 2007

Congress is tired of Skull Fuckers! And frankly, so am I! Watch the video and learn more about Skull Fucking here.

How "FREE & AVAILABLE" are Free Music and Video Downloads?

May I just say that I stumbled upon this article as I was combing thru Google's news postings. Spiral Frog launches today. It's supposedly an ad-based site where anyone can just download music and videos for FREE. Hmmm.... this idea wreaks of fish - or, more like frogs, whatev. Chevy is the only advertiser that I've noticed on the site.

Shit smell #1:
"..offering more than 800,000 tracks and 3,500 music videos for download... that content comes by way of Vivendi SA's Universal Music Group, the world's largest record company and the only major label that has licensed its music and videos to SpiralFrog."

Is that it? One label? I think my iPod holds more than what they have to offer..... Wait, what's this? If I have an iPod or a Mac, I can't use this "Free" service?

Shit smell #2:
"Downloads cannot be burned to a CD, but they can be transferred to dozens of digital music players." The content, however, is not compatible with Apple's Macintosh computers or its market-leading iPod."

And there you have it... A big Shitball rockets onto iPod and Mac users - which is a helluva gigantic slice of the pie. Oh! And in case these people don't know iPod Touch just hit the market this past Friday.... Story here.

Who wants a 5'2" Dildo?

Ebay recently pulled this penis sculpture auction from their marketplace. It took the sculptor, Jo Mann (yes, her name is like a punchline to a bad joke....) about four months to sculpt this King Kong-ish dong..... complete with garden hose and vacuum hose pieces for veins. Oh, and did I mention that it comes with a ginormous condom? Yeeeaah.

Ebay discovered this and pulled it after only being posted for 12 hours, which means:
a) Their site censorship management filters/ scripting really sucks
b) Ebay staff was also very curious to see how much the 5'2" penis would sell for
c) Someone on staff (with a Napoleon complex) got bitter.
d) All of the above

I suggest for Ebay to accept the fact that people aren't really sensitive to this kind of shit... I would have been pissed if the Make Your Own Dildo Kit or the XTRA sa-leezy lingerie that I bid on last week was pulled off the Ebay shelves! Selfish bastards....

Watch the fuck out! Britney is back and still crazy.

What the hell is all this Toxic she's smoking? Someone please Hit her One More Time.... or more like slap the shit out of that girl. Her VMA performance was uh... lacking in every angle... from every angle. It was like watching a cow run through thick mud. Ok, that was mean but I give her a 2.5 for her store-bought bra and hotpants. I think her performance would have been 10 times better if she wore something else.... or actually performed, just my opinion.

Does Britney realize that she needs to give her publicist a fat raise? I don't know what excuse you can give for that Lack-of-a-Comeback performance.

You people have no idea how much I want this girl to jump back on the horse and start kicking ass as the pop princess that she WAS. Seriously. Yeah, ok, her voice is no Christina Aguilera but Brit was a damn good entertainer.... Fuck you, admit it.

THIS......IS...(not)...SPARTA!

Ahahaha!! Bravo.... bravo. I guess these guys know where that shortcut is, following the old railroad tracks through the Estuary... hmmm.....

Dog Trouble Trend

First it was only Michael Vick going to jail for dog-related charges. In Seattle, WA, a woman faces up to 90 days in jail for registering her canine to vote. She said she did it to protest a change in the law that she believed made it too easy for non-citizens to vote. Nice try. It makes sense and everything but prolly not as significant or appealing in Seattle. Try that out here in Southern CA... you'll get attention and fame, the opposite of jail time. Read here.

Texan Bloodsucking Chupacabra

Read the story here.

Who wants to play: Get Your Ass Kicked By the Wall?

Holy shit this is funny!!!!!! This is the true spirit of sportsmanship..... a physical challenge, mental obstacles, embarrassment, failure and victory.... but mostly failure - the reason why sports are so damn entertaining.

I am tired of these Mothafuckin' Snakes on these mothafuckin' planes!

Oh jesus. The one thing that I hate more than Mormons knocking on my door is the vivid picture of Samuel L. Jackson talking about mothafucking snakes on a god damn plane. this happens every time I hear "snake" and "plane" in one sentence or in sentences too close to one another. In the instance shown above, there was, in fact, a fucking gray Rat Snake in the cockpit of a damn plane, riding shotgun. The pilot noticed when it started licking his arm.... whoa! wait a minute... this baffles me.... it's not a cat, so I doubt it was "licking" you, Mr. genius pilot. Read the full story here.

BET's spin on "Schoolhouse Rock"